Thank goodness for Blog templates, and STAR WARS Episode IV blaring in the other room.
Do you really, truly care who I am? Odds are, you probably already know me. The old me. And maybe the new me. No, it’s not a multiple personality disorder (that wasn’t part of the diagnosis); it’s a past season, and a new, blessed, better season of my life.
The Meat & Potatoes
- Born and raised in Stockton, CA, two awesome parents who exemplified a respectful marriage, eldest sibling, tomboy childhood (by today’s standards).
- Pissed-away my time in college, enjoyed working, grew up.
- Married, kid, loss, divorced, single, broke, injured, chronic everything, God, learned, married, devoted, trials, prayer, blessed.
- Anxiety, breakdowns, Keto, cellulite, therapy, Discernment, grace, marriage, parenting, step-parenting.
- Christian, geek, STAR WARS, punting-sized lap dog, tattoos.
- 9-1-1 Dispatcher for 17 years, remarried someone 14 years my senior, unintentionally starting a brand new life at age 40 (ironic).
I start many endeavors, and complete even less… and so authoring a blog is something I have wanted to do for a while (along with wearing a 2-piece bathing suit and not nauseating the spectators). In conjunction with dramatic physical and mental changes… publishing my own blog would be another triumph in ‘adulting’.
- “You should keep these thoughts to yourself, and keep a private journal”. Ummm, no. I journal all the time. Mostly at a therapist’s advice, or a daily diary to help with my diet. SUBSCRIBE. Here’s your chance to roll your eyes, laugh, gain something, or pity me.
- “There’s no topic that readers will find interesting”. Oh, you’ll relate. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not to next week’s post, but someday… You’ll relate.
- “Who’s actually reading this?”. My hope is that you’ll smile, you’ll relate, or you’ll at least just read it and move on. Or, if you’ve been curious how I’ve been doing, this will fulfill your curiosity.
- “What are you actually accomplishing?”. I’m doing it. I’m setting a goal, not caring what people think, hoping to heal myself, heal others, and continue being a figurative vigilante. See that list above entitled “The Meat & Potatoes” about me? Those are all the topics that you’ll be entertained with while wasting 2-5 minutes, reading these profound blog posts.
I’m not funny. What I am is brave.Lucille Ball
I love photography. In fact, that was my first, official, real-world job. The interviewer lied about my age (17) to get me hired ASAP. JCPenney’s Portrait studio. I became manager in 6 months (they fired the manager, and were probably hard-up for a replacement). My point in sharing this? I still love capturing family and child portraits, and get constantly told “you should do this full-time”. Uhh, no. I’ve unfortunately been too afraid of people’s opinions (you’ll sense a theme here soon). What if they hate the product? Nope, can’t do this for a living.
Irony is my middle name. Actually, it’s Ann. Legal name changes cost over $400, so my middle name will always be Ann. We all face irony daily, and we usually hear that puzzled internal, sarcastic voice say “really?!?!?!” when faced with certain situations. Hence, my ‘want’ to start writing. But… “What if they hate the product?” again rears it’s ugly head.
Those are my absolute biggest flaws. I doubt myself. I care too much, and not enough about myself. I care what you think, what you feel, how you perceive me, how you perceive my household, what you say about me. I care how you feel about yourself, I want you happy, I want you safe and successful. I still care and love unconditionally.
It took being pulled away from my occupation of 17+ years, to look introspectively. I now just love (even) more, and worry less. How exciting to realize that you can still be gracious and giving, while no longer caring about negative opinions? Whew, my friends… I’m feeling better already.
On my tombstone, make sure it reads “she made us laugh”self